i'm n strong a

p/s: i wanna bake something
p/s: i don't wanna go back to my hostel. wanna stay at home till the end of my life, can i?

If my life was a movie, it would have been a great movie.
wonder why?
because in my life, i suffer a lot.
people nowadays like to see other people suffer, right?

i never hate my life.
i always think that it's my fate, and there's a lot of other people who suffer more than me.

thinking about my fate,
it's actually my fault.

i've been ignorant all this time.
so, yeah, new life again. again.

i guess i wanna be more disciplined. just like the old days.
gotta abide the rules and stuffs. wanna be that "innocent" but "strict" prefect again.

but no, i have no interest to be a prefect anymore.

this saturday, i'll learn to manage my time wisely.
and start planning again.

and i think i should lose some weight. can't stop eating, man -,-''.

haters are gonna hate.

i don't have haters right now, but the way all the people there interact with me makes me a little uncomfortable and insecure than ever.

i'm an attention seeker, see? but i don't seek attention through things that make people say "poor Hani" and stuffs.

hope that people won't see my problems.
i hate it when people start sympathizing at me.
i'm not that kind of girl that people should be sympathized at.
i'm used to it. go away. shoo.

i confess that i'm a little demotivated right now.
i feel like no matter how hard i tried, other people will gain more.
i'll always be at the bottom. trying to float.

i don't have the spirit to study anymore. because i know i'll forget everything.
and there's like too many things to be revised. time is against me.

i feel stupid.
and my plan is: to try going up step by step, subject by subject.

and start crossing my fingers all the way.

don't think of the possibilities to fail,
think of changing yourself.

go. go.
assalamualaikum.