kena berubah

aku baring kat atas katil, sibuk tenung laptop. lepas rindu. lepas geram.
pagi tadi bangun awal sebab dah terbiasa. terus tak tidur balik. sebab dah biasa.
buat personal stuffs segala, then capai kuali and panaskan mee goreng kat dlm refrigerator.
ciss, langsung takde special dish untuk "budak asrama" ni. *mengeluh kejap

tapi takpe la. lagipun aku spend time aku tidur je. sebab demam. dan batuk. dua penyakit yang aku bawak dari kedah. dah lama dah batuk, sebelum exam week lagi. tapi sebab terlalu busy memang abandon je batuk tu.

kalau ada orang nampak aku sekarang, they can see how miserable i am :
ubat jerawat menempek di dahi macam baru lepas berpantang.
muka serabai tak bertempat. batuk lagi. isy, memang teruk. tak macam perempuan, macam pelik.

tapi makan tetap banyak. sebab aku stress. pergi ratah milo: milo fuze yang aku bawak balik dengan milo dalam bekas tu (ceduk dua tiga sudu dalam mug, ambil sudu kecik sikit, on).
mi goreng pun gol.

and no, tak nak baking hari ni.
ada seminggu lagi, anyway.

sepanjang aku pindah sekolah, i've never mentioned anything about that school, right.
so, here it goes (from my own point of view).

it's a new school, big and beautiful. asrama pun cun. everything is close to perfect.
padang je x best. kecil sangat. cute.
anyway, we the girls tak pj kat padang. kami pergi bilik muzik. *apa yg kami buat kat bilik muzik is history

the students kat sana tak ramai. 600 something je.
and that's why juniors and seniors are quite close here.
tambah lagi kalau satu dorm. riuh, kecoh.
and everything is based on sistem rumah.

what is sistem rumah? it's like everything you do here is based on that.
there's 4 rumah here: umar, ali, osman, bakar. all the competitions like perarakan maulidur rasul, amali haji and stuffs are based on that. your rumah is like everything: you sport house, your group, stuffs.

it's a great school. everything's based on penghayatan Islam here.
solat berjemaah is compulsory everytime. baca al-quran ramai-ramai (sehari semuka surat), baca al-mulk sebelum tidur kat dorm, ma'thurat, solat hajat every week, qiyamullail and many more.
i can feel myself changing.
there's three aliran here: sains tulen, sains tulen agama and sains teknikal.
aku budak sains tulen.
and i can say there's a lot of differences that you can see between the students from different aliran.
like sains tulen agama students can be quiet.
sains teknikal, half quiet.
sains tulen, nothing close to quiet.

but aku boleh cakap yang aku terbawa style aku dekat sekolah rpk dulu.
yang selamba, sesuka hati.
budak sains tulen lebih sesuka hati je.
aku masih awkward nak kena jaga interactions sebab sekolah ni sekolah campur.
i make mistakes sometimes.
kadang-kadang sembang terlalu selamba sampai lupa tengah bercakap dengan lelaki.
dah biasa. gosh. tapi jaga jarak tu senang je.

and one more: students sains tulen suka tengok straight into the eyes bila bercakap. i'll just pretend to take things or tengok tempat lain bila communicate.

mungkin sebab dah biasa perempuan semua. mungkin sebab dah anggap classmates macam adik beradik. macam abang, macam kakak, macam adik. takde perasaan pun bila cakap.

tapi kadang-kadang rasa letih. sebab kalau dulu boleh nyanyi macam konsert apa je kat dalam kelas. shuffling and moonwalking style pelik sesuka hati. but now, everything needs to stop. sekarang nak nyanyi pun dalam dorm je, or kawasan asrama.

nak nyanyi dalam kelas: miming je. nyanyian tak bersuara and stuffs.
sheesh.

but masa nak study akan lebih banyak. waktu prep, waktu ini, waktu itu. nak buat apa lagi kalau bukan study or buat homework? tidur pun best. tapi sebabkan aku ni jenis yang insomnia di waktu pagi, pejamlah mata style apa pun, masih tak tidur-tidur. baik buat kerja.
dan genius kat sekolah pun ramai. cakap je nak apa. nak genius fizik, kimia, bio, add math, math, english, bm or whatsoever, semua ada.

aku boleh la jadi sidekick. sebab dah study cara yg salah.
and i'm sure i'll be flunking my result. *sigh*
and know what? i've never felt this bimbo before.
i've never been stupid before. maybe this is Allah's test. to make me stand again. I love you, Ya ALLAH. forever, and ever.

but i guess it's worth it. let me be like this. i'll be 'hiking' slowly.
one step at a time.

i'm the lamelight, remember?
assalamualaikum.

*creep-radiohead suits the mood, i tell you.