life: my own edition

I'm currently searching for things to say for my public speaking session. And yet I've found nothing. So, why bother looking for other people's articles when I can write myself one?

But here's the deal. I don't like being in pressure, I don't like being in a situation where I have to do something just to impress other people. The same thing happens when I am to write an essay for the final exam. I know I have to impress the examiner in order to be credited or stuffs. And I'll do it awkwardly, and of course, making myself feeling so unsure and stupid.
And I know I'll do way better than that if it's just a homework or maybe a post for this blog.

So, I'm currently under the pressure of creating something cool to be shared with my classmates and teachers. I wanna make them impressed. Maybe at least listen to what I'm gonna babble about.

Found myself a title: no ambition in life
So, yeah -,-'' what should I do?
Need to go back to the boarding school tomorrow.
I'm hoping to survive, of course.
Like what I've said, the school's great. The people's great.
It's just me: I'm the one who felt insecure and unsure in everything I do.

Being there makes me feel so small compared to others. I'll feel smaller after the results come out, of course.
*sigh*

But the school's great. I've great friends, seniors and juniors here. I've got a lot of things to be learned here.
My classmates are as crazy as my former classmates.
They are funny and stuffs.
But it's just me who can't really fit in.
I did fit in. Yes, I did.

But I don't know what happened.
Gosh.

Maybe it's just my confidence.
I've miserably lowered my confidence level.
I've lost my confidence I guess.
Because being in my former school means that I'll have everything I want. I'm one of the top students for sure.
I'm the school debater.
And till now, Cikgu Hilaliah can't seem to decide who's gonna be the Penolong Ketua Pengawas II because I'm not there anymore.
*sigh*

Here, everything is to be done myself. I'll have to expose myself to get all those posts again.

But I've never wanted to come back to RPK again.
Just my instinct I guess.
But the one-year-deal's still on. If I am still awkward and "stupid" [bimbo huh] after a year living there, I'll just go back to RPK, no matter what.

But I know that RPK is the best school ever.
Even better than my boarding school (in some aspects)

Will I ever come back?
Will I give up here?

Motivate me, someone?
please?

*now leaving with no article to be read -,-''